What Really Would Have Happened
by megt83
Summary: The HIMYM finale left me scarred like everyone else. I am a huge Swarkles fan and the way their marriage went in the finale was an insult. This is a story about problems I believe to be more plausible in Barney and Robin's marriage.


Author's Note: I've never been much of a writer, but when that HIMYM finale came out I started ranting to everyone how unbelievable everything in that episode was, and what I thought would really have happened. I knew that Barney and Robin definitely wouldn't have had a perfect marriage. They would have problems, and maybe because of Robin's job, but not the way the finale portrayed it. Eventually, I decided to write down what my thoughts on their marriage problems, just to give myself some closure. At first it was just a Barney speech saying that he wouldn't let Robin go so easily, but over the course of a few months, I kept adding to the story. Before I knew it, it was ten pages long. I showed my friend hoping it would give her some closure too, and she encouraged me to post it somewhere. This is my first story on here and as of now I don't have any other ideas, but I'd love it to see some constructive criticism in the reviews to help me become a better writer. I hope you enjoy my take on what really would have happened.

* * *

Its been two years since they got married and Barney and Robin were supposed to be happy. This was supposed to be their happily ever after, but life doesn't always go so smoothly. If anyone knew that, it was this couple. They had been through so much to get here and endured so much pain. Now, two years into their marriage, everything seemed to be falling apart. Robin wondered how this had happened, but it was obvious from the start. She had just refused to see it because this was Barney. She had spent so much time ignoring her feelings for him that when they were engaged, she refused to see all the signs. At her wedding, she had even almost run away with Ted. Because Ted was the guy who you were supposed to want to marry. Ted is the logical option. But of course Robin could never make things easy for herself. She had to be in love with the sociopath with commitment issues who is scarily similar to her father.

Their life together was amazing at first. They were in their own little bubble of love and it seemed as if they really were capable of happiness. But then their happiness started to slip. It all started during an extremely busy few months at her job. There was a scandal with the mayor of New York and Robin found herself working tirelessly to dig for information, trying to get interviews, and researching non-stop. Granted, she was staying at the office for more hours and was coming home late almost everyday, but that was only the trigger. Eventually, the scandal died down and everything should have been back to normal after that, but it wasn't. In the beginning, Robin would find Barney waiting for her when she came home, smiling at the sight of her, and usually Little Barney would be very excited as well. It was this domestic feeling that Robin had always thought she hated, but with Barney, it was amazing. Robin remembered one night in particular. It had been a long and stressful day at work, and when she got home she was exhausted. When Robin walked through the door Barney was sitting on the couch watching their giant T.V. As soon as he saw Robin, he turned it off. He got up to greet her at the door, then wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in close. His smell was intoxicating. Barney kissed her passionately. Just like that, Robin felt her body come back to life. All it took was one kiss from Barney and she was raring to go. She could have just ran a 10k race, and he could still somehow find what little energy she had left.

"Jeez Barney, couldn't give me a second to get through the door first?" Robin attempted to sound irritated but her smile gave her away.

"Sorry I've just been going crazy in here without you," Barney said, almost in a whine, "My horniness level has reached to unthinkable heights, even for me. I got desperate enough to try to do it myself, but you've spoiled me. Only you can help me." Barney breathed the last sentence in a way that made Robin melt. It felt great to know that the former womanizer, Barney Stinson, had to rely on her for sexual release. She stepped even closer to him, pulling on to the lapels of his suit.

"Oh really? Then its a good thing I'm here to make you all better," Robin said playfully, leaning in to kiss him softly. Barney grinned and they ran to the bedroom together. That was how coming home late was at first. Then one night, Barney was fast asleep on the couch when she got home. He looked so peaceful that Robin didn't want to wake him, but she figured he'd be more comfortable on their bed. So she shook him to wake him up, but not before getting a picture on her phone because the gang would love this. Barney stirred, looked up at her and said groggily,

"Robin? Did I fall asleep?" She laughed and nodded. She sat down next to him, kissing him on the cheek.

"You don't have to stay up to wait for me if you're too tired. Just go to bed and we'll have our fun in the morning." So after that, Robin would find Barney already asleep when she got home. He would be curled up on his side of the bed like even in his sleep, he was making sure there was room for her. It was a little disappointing to not have his cute smile to greet her when she came home, but finding him already asleep could be just as adorable. When he was asleep, he was completely vulnerable, no suits, awesomeness, scotch, or laser tag, just him. This was the Barney only she got to see. This sight was reserved for her exclusively, and that knowledge made Robin happier than anything. She would get undressed, kiss Barney on the cheek, and lie down next to him. She could feel his warmth and smell his scent and feel content. She would rather have the awake, full of life, and yes, even horny, Barney, but his peaceful, sleeping body breathing softly was a great feeling too. When things really started to go downhill was that first night she got a text from him when she was on her way home.

_Went out for a drink with the guys. Don't wait up, idk when I'll b home._

That night, Robin came home to an empty home for the first time in a while. Getting into bed just didn't feel the same without Barney there next to her. Robin wondered how she had become the person who couldn't sleep by herself. She used to be so independent in every aspect of her life. She had fallen asleep with nobody there every day with no reservations. That was the way she liked it. She used to hate even the idea of cuddling, but as usual, Barney was the exception. He just made everything feel right. Falling asleep without his steady breathing felt awkward and unnatural to her now, but she eventually did so. When she awoke she found Barney next to her, face down over the covers and still fully clothed as if he had drunkenly passed out there. She looked at the clock, it was 6:00 am. He had probably gotten home no more than two hours ago. This sleeping Barney didn't make her feel so content. He didn't look like her Barney, curled up in boxers. It looked more like the old Barney, passing out after a night of booze and one night stands. Robin shuddered, that life was behind them. After that night, it wasn't uncommon for her to come home to an empty apartment, then wake up to a Barney smelling of alcohol and cigars. It unnerved her, but Robin didn't want to be that nagging wife who banned Barney from going out. Especially since she had been so busy at work lately. If she could come home late, so could he. Besides, she trusted Barney and knew he would never cheat on her. When work died down and she was back on a regular schedule, Robin figured everything would go back to normal, but Barney was still going out doing who knows what every night. This habit had continued for almost a whole month now. This wasn't okay, Robin realized as she awoke again to Barney fully clothed and smelling of scotch. They weren't happy, and this needed to be fixed. This isn't what she wanted when she got married to him. What Robin most feared is that he realized that he doesn't want to be tied down anymore, that she couldn't be enough for him. She couldn't think of any other reason for him to feel the need to go out all night. She couldn't let this continue any longer.

That night happened to be one of the few he actually came home sober. He smiled halfheartedly and kissed her on the cheek before he walked into the bedroom, loosening his tie. When he came back out, he was sporting one of her favorite looks on him. He had taken off his coat and tie, and rolled up his sleeves. The top buttons of his shirt were undone so she could see some of his chest. It took all of her nerve to bring up what she wanted to talk about. Maybe if she ignored the issue, it would go away.. But she couldn't think that way anymore. That was how their relationship had failed before. It was just harder when he looked so damn sexy. All she wanted to do is kiss him all over and feel him inside her. That way, everything could be back to normal, and they would be happy. But not even sex could solve their issues right now.

"Barney, I think we need to talk.", Robin said softly, looking him in those gorgeous eyes. He looked down as though he had expected this coming eventually. "Are you happy with me?" There it was, the question she had been so afraid to ask. What if this was it? What if her and Barney were just never meant for happiness? Barney looked up and walked closer to her. He held her by her waist, and Robin felt her body shudder for him. He answered,

"I love you so much." Robin wanted to just give in and hold him even closer, but instead she backed away. He was avoiding the question and this wasn't what she wanted to hear. Robin was about to say the words she had been dreading to for a month,

"What if this whole marriage thing was a mistake. Maybe we were kidding ourselves thinking that, us, the biggest commitment-phobes on the planet, could make a marriage work. We both love each other, but we still are not happy." She looked into the amazing blue eyes she had shared so many looks with. The first time they went broing out as Barney refused to leave her behind. The many times they shared a secret look of mischief across their table at Maclaren's when they silently, and usually out loud as well, made fun Ted. The first time she realized how much she really meant to Barney when he apologized for the Robin 101 class on the stoop in front of the old apartment. The night he proposed to her on the roof of the WWN building, her favorite spot in the city. They had always had chemistry, and they had loved each other for a very long time, but maybe all of that wasn't enough. After all the growing they had done over the years, this still wasn't working. They still couldn't just be happy. Barney looked back into Robin's eyes, and she could tell her words had hurt him deeply. He gave her a look he always reserved for her. The one where he had one eyebrow slightly raised, his forehead wrinkled, and he opened up his very soul to her through his eyes. They were silent for only a moment, but it felt like a lifetime for Robin. He finally answered her,

"Robin, I spent the better part of a decade realizing that you are all I wanted out of life. I knew we tried to be together and it ended terribly, but we kept coming back to each other. I love you so much. We both went through so much pain and suffering trying to find each other, and we finally did. I played my last play and I got the love of my life to marry me. We were finally going to be happy forever. I can't just let that slip away so easily. I know I haven't been the best husband lately, but I promised you that we'd be together forever and I don't lie to you anymore. We can make this work Robin, we have to. I love you more than anything, and I'm going to be a better husband to you from now on." Robin was always a sucker for Barney's love speeches. Mostly because they were reserved only for her, but she was still unsure. He had said similar things in the past and they still ended up where they are now. Robin felt the tears filling her eyes as she said,

"How? You can't just say I love you and make it all better. Maybe our love just isn't enough anymore. You didn't answer the question, Barney." Her voice trembled when she spoke his name, "Are you happy with me?" Barney wanted to touch her and hold her some more, but he knew it wasn't the time.

"Maybe that's because you're asking the wrong question. I'm happy being _with you._ The real question is if I am happy _right now. _The honest answer to that is no, but it doesn't have to do with not wanting to be with you, or you not being enough for me. I meant it when I told you that you are all I want for the rest of my life." Barney could always see right through Robin. He knew what she feared when she asked that question. But if that wasn't the reason he was unhappy, what was it? If they truly love each other, and want nobody else, then why couldn't they be happy? Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe they just weren't allowed to be happy. It was so unfair.

"Why are you unhappy then?", Robin asked. It was a voice she rarely used, and only Barney got to hear it. It was soft and vulnerable. Barney sighed. He hated that she was feeling like this, but she needed to hear the truth.

"When you were working so much, I missed you. I couldn't stand how much I missed you. It felt so lame and Ted-like. I couldn't wait until you got home, and I got Little Barney all excited just thinking about you. Waiting for you was horrible.", as Barney told his side of the story, she realized how selfish she was being. She was so wrapped up in trying to be the best journalist that she failed to realize how much she was hurting Barney. Guilt started settling in as Barney continued talking, "It just seemed like we were spending less and less time with each other and it made me scared. I didn't want to get in the way of your career, because I'm not that guy. I love how independent and ambitious you are. Its one of the thousand things I love about you. But never getting to see you was really hard for me." At that line, Barney paused and grinned. With his old twinkle, "In more ways than one." Robin smirked at that. Even when he was pouring his heart out, he still managed to make her laugh, "Anyway, you were coming home later and later, and I started falling asleep. That made me feel sad, and a little lost. The moment when you got home was what I cherished most, and now I was even missing out on that. When I feel lost, I resort to my old habits," Barney paused again. Robin was terrified. Could he have resorted to his old womanizing ways? She was so sure that he would never cheat on her, even with all her doubts. Could she have been wrong? Barney saw the look on her face and quickly said. "Oh no Robin, no. I swear on my life, and on my suits that I did not cheat on you." Robin sighed with relief, "I just went out to bars and drank the night away. It seemed like the only thing that would help. You spending so much time at work made me feel.." Barney's voice cracked, "feel as if you didn't want me anymore. If you could be out all night without me, then I could do the same without you. After you stopped working so much, the habit just continued. I was afraid you would just leave me alone in the apartment again." Robin noticed that Barney had said "the apartment" rather than home. She could relate to everything he was saying. She felt the same way lately. Without Barney there, everything felt empty. It only felt like home when he was there with her. She felt terrible for putting him through this, and that all of this was her fault.

"Barney, I'm so sorry. I had no idea I was making you feel that way. Honestly, I love my job, but nothing felt as good as coming home to your smile, or even to you sound asleep all curled up on the bed. You should have told me how you felt so long ago. You can't just escape it by drinking all night. I'm always going to have my career, but you can talk to me about it if you feel this way again. You have to promise me that, or we will never be able to be happy. I know we aren't the best at dealing with feelings. We both have a habit of pushing them away, but we have to tell each other these things to work out as a couple." Barney knew that what she was saying was true. Feeling so vulnerable was still difficult for him to get used to. Even in marriage with Robin, it just didn't come so naturally. Especially considering how much he had to lose. Robin was truly amazing, and he couldn't let her go.

"I promise you, I will. I'll do anything to be with you. Anything. You are everything to me and losing you is something I'll never allow myself to do. I know it won't be easy, but remember, I'm the master of the possimpible." Barney smirked at the last line, hoping she remembered the last time he said it. He had saved her from getting deported by sending her video resume to "Come On Get Up New York". Robin grinned because she did remember. Maybe he is right, no marriage is perfect. Even Lily and Marshall have issues. Losing Barney would be excruciatingly painful. They went through so much to be together, they couldn't just let that go so easily. Maybe she had just panicked because this is her and Barney. It never was supposed to work, they were never supposed to be happy. She had thought that this unhappiness they had felt lately was inevitable, but she was wrong. They can pull through this, she thought as she pulled him in for a kiss, they were the masters of possimpible. Between kisses Robin whispered,

"I love you so much Barney." Now she was able to do what she was secretly dying to do since he had come out of the bedroom. She pulled him in even closer and deepened their kiss. She slid her hands beneath his shirt and let them glide all over his abs and pecks. "You know make up sex is always amazing," Robin said suggestively.

"Sex with you is always amazing," Barney replied with a mischievous grin. Then he looked at her seriously for a moment. "I really don't understand how you could think you couldn't be enough for me. No woman could ever please me like you do. You're the most beautiful and sexy wife I could ever ask for." Robin smiled at his comments. He hadn't made her feel this way in a long time. She had forgotten how he could make her feel like the only woman in the world. She never thought that it could be like this with the Barney, the famous womanizer of New York City.

"It wasn't completely insane to think that. You slept with half of Manhattan and then some. You nailed some really hot chicks. Its a lot to live up to, and not completely unexpected for you to get tired of me." Robin's insecurities were cropping up again, but before she could even think about them any further, Barney replied,

"That's insane. With you Robin, all it takes is a look and I'm already ready to go. Sometimes I'll just think about you at work and I get a boner. I was right the moment I saw you. You LOVE it dirty, and I love that you love it. You have spoiled me so much that I don't even think I could get it up for another woman anymore. Don't ever think that you're not enough for me, because you are everything to me." With that, all of Robin's insecurities were gone. The only feelings she had left were her immense love for Barney, and the growing need to tear all his clothes off.

"I love you Barney. I'd love to tell you how much you turn me on, but I'd rather just show you," Robin said with a wink. She kissed him passionately and pulled him close once more. Barney traced hot kisses down her neck and on her breasts.

"This is why I love you," He breathed. They raced to the bedroom and fell on to the bed. She needed to feel even closer to him. Within seconds, his hands began to expertly unbutton her shirt and undo her bra. Barney's hands slid from her stomach, up to her breasts in a way that made Robin shudder. She began to undo his pants until she could see Little Barney awake and ready for her.


End file.
